We have all heard the labels that mothers are given: SAHM, WAHM, Working Mom, Single Mom, PTA Mom, Homeschool Mom, Crunchy Mom, Breast-feeding Mom, Bottle-feeding Mom, Young Mom, Old Mom…I could go on and on, but you get the picture. As moms, we are labeled. Then comes all the “this label vs. this label.” When the whole truth of it is, we are just MOMS. If you are a mother, it doesn’t matter if you stay at home with your kids or work outside the home, YOU WORK! ALL MOMS WORK!
We don’t need the labels to prove what we do and don’t do. WE WORK HARD EVERYDAY. We are raising humans. What could be harder than that? 24/7 our mind is on our children. Our mental lists of our children’s meals, appts, school, projects, extra-curricular activities and more, is boundless. Our brains are constantly trying to keep up, while our bodies are doing all the physical demands that are needed to raise children. No one knows how hard we work, more than we do.
With those labels, I have had many roles. I have been a SAHM, Working Mom, WAHM, Single Mom, Homeroom Mom, Homeschool Mom, Heart Mom, and more. I cannot say that one job is harder than the other.
When I was working outside the home, I felt guilty. On the other hand, we had more financial security, and that felt really nice. Although, I did miss out on some of my children’s milestones. The house work didn’t pile up as much. I had time for me, I even took yoga everyday on my lunch break. There were plenty of quiet hours to think and get my work done. I felt accomplished, but my hours with my children always seemed very limited. My children missed me and I really missed them.
As a SAHM, I got to enjoy all the morning cuddles. I didn’t miss anything my children did, that includes tantrums, first-steps, fights, first-words, melt-downs, first cartwheel, the list could go on all day. The housework seemed like a constant battle, because we lived in it 24/7. I made all meals: breakfast, lunch and dinner. Our finances were really limited. I never had a minute to myself, that includes bathroom time. But I was raising my children, not paying someone else to do it. I was not doing it for the income, but for the outcome.
Everyone has a different situation. No mother should be labeled for how she chooses to take care of her family. One role does not out-do the other. Regardless of if you work outside the home, or stay home with your children, you are still working because you are a MOM! Moms put their children first. We work tirelessly to provide love and care to our children every single day. The errands, the tantrums, the doctor appts, the cuddles, the emotions…they are still there for EVERY mother to handle.
There was a recent study by Welch’s that concluded that moms work the equivalent of 2.5 jobs. That’s not counting any outside job, that is strictly the time it takes in just being a mom. Maybe that explains the constant exhaustion, brain fog, and the desire for just a little time away.
I wouldn’t trade being a mother for anything. Although, it is really hard work, it’s also EVERYTHING I’ve ever wanted. My children are my happiness. Even when I am knee-deep in laundry, diapers, dishes, and tantrums, I am so very thankful for my children. Before I even decided on what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always KNEW I wanted to be a mother. That transition was never hard for me, because it is something I always wanted. Nonetheless, being a mother is constantly demanding on my energy, body, mentality and emotions.
Society needs to stop labeling us. We are MOMS and that’s the ONLY label we need. WE ALL WORK HARD! We need more support and less judgment. We already judge ourselves on every move we make. We don’t need the labels to make us feel less of ourselves while running this never-ending marathon. We are juggling so much and doing that the best we can while living our life, raising our children, and hoping for the best outcome.
So here is to all the Moms out there, you are working hard doing many invisible tasks, and your children love you for it!